Matt turned into an asshole again when I tried to talk to him about how I have been feeling. Not to mention he likes anal sex better than regular sex. Oh and the TITLE of the fucking porn he watched this week had "TINY PETITE TEEN" in the title. That's what he wants. A tiny little girl. I should have just left him the first time I can't stand this ass hole.
MY ENITRE INSECURITY IS FROM HIM. IT IS FAULT. HE IS THE REASON I STARTED HATING MYSELF.
Why would he make real change? Why would he care about me? I'm just the thunder-thighs he married as a fucking back up. I'm the stumpy ugly fat ass he doesn't care about. I'm nothing to him. PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU FUCKING LISTEN.
I managed to get up most of our date night dinner but at least half the sushi stayed down and I can't get it up. I feel miserable that I ate, and the only reason I did was so he would fucking look at me like I'm normal but I could give a fuck what he thinks anymore. I was right. I need to be happy. He doesn't matter at all anymore. At least that is what I am telling myself. I hate him. If I hate him then he can't hurt me anymore.
I guess that's just life.
Fuck date night. This relationship was already broken beyond repair.
MS
This is about me and my life. It is my journey through time and space and about personal discovery. This will be triggering and hard to read, you have been warned.
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