I know it is good to keep moving forward and I get that I am building muscle and it is heavier than fat so I am still getting smaller every day but it is so beyond discouraging to wake up and see my scale moving up.
I just want to get down to 115 pounds so I can feel pretty again. Is that to much to ask for?
So I ate around 750 calories today and since I burned off 400 I should be netting around 350 calories for the day so I am praying to whatever god is out there that I can be 141 by morning. It can't be that hard I have to be able to do this or I will literally cry my eyes out in the morning.
Not that my husband would care much. I feel like he is ashamed to be with me. But lets be honest why wouldn't he be? I am a fat ugly mess and I don't like me why should he like me?
I am having a very down day and honestly I just want to go to bed now but I need to do the dishes first and take a shower so I am going to get a head start on that. Hopefully tomorrow I will come back with better news.
Thin Thin!
Miss Sinister
This is about me and my life. It is my journey through time and space and about personal discovery. This will be triggering and hard to read, you have been warned.
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