140.4

Sad to say it will mostly be water weight considering the horrid binge from last night and the purging. I seriously need to be stopped what is wrong with me?

More importantly I need to stay strong tonight so I don't binge even though Matt will be home. He is my biggest trigger and it's driving me crazy that I do so well until I see him. Then he tells me I'm to skinny and to eat something. 

I seriously find myself wanting to cry just thinking about it all. I feel fat and horrid still and I hate myself. I need to get stronger self control.