I am no longer restricting my diet. I started insanity and I am working out really heavily and as such I figured if I am going to be building muscle I should be eating more. The trouble is I have no idea how to be normal. I need help being a normal girl. I really am beyond not sure what normal really is.
I have no idea how many calories I am eating and I know if I was checking them I would hate myself so I am trying to avoid it for now. I missed my workout yesterday and as such I am doing two today to catch up. Fucking kill me.
I need a mentor. A NORMAL PERSON TO FORCE ME TO BE NORMAL. I wonder if that is possible.
I need to get up the energy to go workout, but I really don't want to. I need to hit 115 before we go to vacation in July. I need to. There is nothing I want more than to get to 115 pounds but I also want to be normal. Fuck my life.
This is about me and my life. It is my journey through time and space and about personal discovery. This will be triggering and hard to read, you have been warned.
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