I am only going to eat some prunes today to push that crap out of my system. That and I'm going to try to work out tonight. I'm starting to lose muscle definition from not working out at all and the last thing I want is that. I'm going to need it if I plan on entering Tough Mudder at the end of the year.
In other news I am not really beating myself up anymore. It's weird because I used to constantly feel pressured to be perfect but now I feel pretty and happy most of the time. I still have my 'I'm a fat ass' moments but they are getting less and less frequent. I'm really starting to wonder how much of my destructive behavior was ex hubby related. Makes me wonder if I could be able to gain control over my ED someday as well.
I was at one time hell bent on recovering, I wonder if I can. Being normal is something I don't think I can do. The feeling of control I get from this is addicting.
I guess that's some food for thought.
Much love,
Miss Sinister
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