On a side note I think I officially pissed him off with my eating habits. He told me last night that he was just going to stop bringing it up. Which I'm happy about, maybe it will save me some drama in the long run, lord knows I have enough of it all by my damn self. On the other hand I wonder what this means for him. Is it that he is not going to care anymore? Or that he is going to swollow his feelings towards it and explode later?
I tell myself constantly that he isn't like Matt. He is a good guy, (and awesome in bed XD) so I don't want to scare him off.
Drama drama drama.
Moving on! Last night I ate curly fries and half a small Oreo cookie shake from Jack In The Box, I was out with Hansell and I was happy to eat for him. (Weird I know.) Since it happened at 1:30 am I'm counting it as all my calories for today and I'm going to be fasting today and if possible tomorrow to make up for it. The really weird thing is that it was okay for me to eat it. It was not an uncontrollable binge or massive loss of control. I made the choice to eat with him and I was happy to do it. I didn't even finish the shake! Which is impossible for me! Usually when I eat something I finish it no matter what! It's so strange! My scale moved up a bit from yesterday but like I previously mentioned I didn't log yesterday reguardless since I feel like my scale is lying to me. A reader mentioned that It also could be water weight, which is good to lose too!
I don't feel bad or regretful, I feel like I'm still on track and working toward my goal. It's pretty amazing to me actually. I feel so in control of my life. No one can take this away from me again. I am empowered. I am strong. It's like I'm finally holding the wheel again.
I love it.
Anyhow I should end this before I spend a day writing about how boring my life is!
Stay Beautiful!
Miss Sinister
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