142.6

My marriage is over. I ended it about a week ago and I'm honestly pretty happy about it now. At first I was grieving, heavily but I know now that it wasn't a good relationship to be in. Matt went to jail for class c assault on me. He was drunk and he snapped. He scared the crap out of me. I honestly thought he was going to kill me. He started screaming for me to get out of his house and leave he was trying to hold my dogs hostage. I pushed him to get him away from me, he was so close and screaming at me that our noses were practically touching, he took a step back grounded himself and shoved me hard. Needless to say when my mom showed up he was bilgerant. Screaming obscenities and that he was: "going to get us." I was terrified. My mom told the cops what happened and they took him to jail. 

I was moved out the next day. 

I'm glad it's over. Honestly it was so unhealthy and scary and it caused me nothing but pain. I think towards the end if it I didn't really want to be there anymore. He ruined that relationship with malicious intent. He is and was the problem. Not to say that I don't share part of the blame but he hurt me. The cops took pictures of my bruises kind of hurt me. It was bloody crazy and I'm glad it's done!

I moved in with my mom and I'm back with Ana, she is my support network. The feeling of control is inpowering. I've lost a ton of weight this week and I'm back to running and doing insanity off and on. I feel strong and powerful, that was something Matt took from me. My feeling of strength. 

I'm happy to say I'm getting lots of comments on my weight loss, so I am finally feeling good again. :3 I'm back down to notch 13 on my belt!

For the moment I need Ana to keep me stable. I will start worrying about recovering again once I have fully healed!

Much love!

Miss Sinister