Never Forget [The Meaning]

Gods I miss you
Sometimes my heart can’t handle
You not being here

I can’t think about you
Never smiling
Never talking to be at midnight
Never telling me a lame joke
So I could laugh until I cried
You were my best friend
And I will never forget you

How did this happen?
Were you just that unlucky?
If luck did this to you
I’m fucked

This was an accident
The kind where sirens scream
Where cop cars and ambulances
Prove they are worthless
Where they took you away in a body bag
This was my heart being torn out of my chest
This was you being murdered
By yourself

You called me many names
My favorite being:
Munchkin
It’s been years
And that name still brings tears to my eyes
You were the only one who called me that
No one does now
I think it’s good
Good for me I mean
I could never forget you
But some things still hurt to think about

When you and I fought
It wasn’t through words
Or stupid blackmail
Or through backhanded comments
Meant only to injure the ego
When we fought
We left bruises in the shape of our fists
And in this language
Of purples blacks and greens
You and I formed a friendship
A bond
That has lasted through not only death
But through time itself

When you blew your head off
Through that hole in your arm
I was mad
I was so fucking angry
I waged war on the world
I cut until I saw bone
I banged out loud music
Until my ears hurt as much as I was hurting
On the inside

During the first six months
I never really cried
I guess I started crying
When I called your phone
And your stupid message machine
Picked up
“Hello?” it was your voice
“Naw, just kidding!” it was a lie
“Leave your number” I fell for it, like always
“Goodbye.”

I cried for three days
Then I called it again at 2:45 am
Your mom picked up
And we cried together

You still are my best friend
Even though you left me here
In this hell hole
To, I guess, fend for myself
Even though my wrist still aches
From that time you hit me with
Leonardo
My rusty metal pipe
The one we loved
That one that we carried everywhere
For weeks and weeks on end

I think I will miss you until I die
But you taught me life’s hard lessons
Never believe when they say
They’ll love you
Never admit you’re wrong
Until the proof is undeniable
Never forget what they did to you
And what they will do again

I love you
And we still are best friends
Until the end of time