I’m Not Open Anymore

There are footsteps in the hallway
And the lock on the wall is broken
It keeps on ticking
Never forward never normal
It just ticks
Over the eight
Back and forth back and forth
I hate to say but
Time stops here
And the footsteps in the hallway
Are ghosts of Christmas past
Memories of the people we’ve lost
Of those who jealous time has left behind

Blue Jay’s tapping on my window
He wants to know why it’s closed
Because it’s always been open for him before
“I don’t talk to dead people.” I say
He doesn’t leave he knows me
I never say no to him
I never say no

There's a tapping on my door
He wants to know why the door is closed
Because it’s always been open to him before
“I don’t talk to dead people.” I say
He doesn’t leave he knows me
I never say no to him
I never say no

The front door opens quietly
And then is loudly shut
The clocks still ticking
But for once
It’s normal
Father is home
There’s rattling in the kitchen
And the TV is blaring noise
My window is still closed
My door still tightly shut
The light in the hallway clicks on then off
Silence reins the house
A door opens then closes
And the clock is strange again
Back and forth back and forth

There’s a pain behind my eyes
He wants to know what it’s there for
Because he’s never seen me cry before
"I don't talk to dead people." I say
But he doesn’t leave he knows me
I never say no to him
I never say no

There’s a tugging on my heart strings
He says “I’ll always love you munchkin.”
He doesn’t mean to hurt me, he’s just like before
"I don't talk to dead people." I say
But he doesn’t leave he knows me
I never say no to him
But I’m not open anymore