Not having the greatest day ever.

So right now I weigh in at 161 pounds. Considerably less than about a month ago. The trouble is that I'm not sure if I should be worried or not. Last night all my friends and I went out bar hopping. Before you ask I didn't drink anything but water and I ate nothing. That is until Kelvin got there. He drank three beers and ordered jalapeno poppers which are my absolute favorite food in the entire world, other than New York cheese pizza, he then proceeded to convince me to eat one. I wont lie I wanted one so bad but I gave into the craving and I snagged one and gulped it down with the viciousness of a starving caged animal. I feel like I gave in to easily, like I should have held out and took one home and ate it this morning. Not to mention that I gained half of a pound from when I weighted myself yesterday.

I feel like a fucking fat ass, and while I know one jalapeno popper is not enough to make me gain half a pound over night I knew I shouldn't have done it and I did anyways. I feel like I asked for this. I think the worst part of it all is that I have been having a hell of a time not following the rest of my urges and just eating how much of what ever I want. I feel sickened by myself and by my actions. I need to get a grip on myself quickly because if I don't then all of this bad behavior is going to make me gain all of the weight back and then some.

So today I went on a small walk sweetened my tea with Splenda and am hoping that by tonight it is at the bare minimum back at 160.5. I may do some crunches just to make sure that I'm working my tummy down to a more positive level.

Keep me in your thoughts! I'm going to need it.

-SM