So last night one of my best friends in the whole wide world called me normally this would be a good thing. Last night was not a good thing. Well It kind of was but now I'm really confused and hurt and I don't know what to do. Have you ever watched someone that you love dearly be mistreated beaten and broken by someone else that you love dearly? And then seen them do the exact same shit over and over again in a never ending cycle? Well I have and it seems like things just don't change. I'm sad scared and lonely and I have no one to turn to. No one I can talk about this shit with. I have no one. I am alone and this scares the shit out of me. I want to die. I want to kill my self go on a trip and not come back I need some fucking guidance but there is nothing here at all. It is only me and my dog.
I wonder if that's really my sad ass excuse for living. My dog would have no one to love or care for her besides my mom and that is not a healthy household. Uri said she would care for my puppy but Uri can't even take care of her self. And D, is really just lost. So I am alone and pack-less scared and did I mention alone?
Cutting helps relieve the pain.
So in the end what do I have? A dog, a sad lonely puppy that needs me as much as I need her. Around five minutes after getting her I knew that she would be my savior. Who knew she would be the only thing keeping me from suicide. Don't worry. I'm fine. I really mean it this time. Just leave me the fuck alone.
Mayhem
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