There is no one here tonight
I've been using people
As a way to make my self feel better
I feel ugly when I'm not wanted
Like no one really cares
The people I'm sleeping with don't give a fuck about me
I'm not stupid
I know that
But I get a few moments of peace, of relaxed silence
Right after a few harsh words and an orgasm
Five minutes later I'm ready for more
The feelings are coming back
I'll ask a boy to say the night
Pretend like I don't want him to hold me
Because I know that he wont if I ask him to
Another night a new person
She's so pretty that she makes me feel dumb
I use her to validate my existence
Every time she screams my name
I know I'm alive, I'm wanted
She doesn't stay.
I don't ask her too
I lie when I promise to call her
I hope to never see her again
She was just another mistake, another tragedy.
I've been trying too hard not to feel so alone
Hoping that some one will make me feel normal again.
This leaves me with nothing more than a hollow feeling
Tomorrow I'll go out and meet some one new
Maybe they can fix me
This is about me and my life. It is my journey through time and space and about personal discovery. This will be triggering and hard to read, you have been warned.
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