We are on a break but I know I can't get back with him. After what he said and did, which I don't really want to talk about at the moment, I can't forgive him. Especially since I already gave him one once before. I can't do it anymore. I just can't be that person who is bullied into being sad or lonely anymore. I deserve more than that.
I did meet two dudes that I am incredibly fond of whom for now I will call Bear and Snake. They have been a huge emotional support to me during all this bullshit.
Bear doesn't eat either so while he is a constant trigger to me he makes me feel better about myself. He calls me beautiful all the time. Snake just hugs me and eats all the food I make for him without complaint. I don't think I could have survived this break up without them.
I have not been able to weigh myself since I have gone over the weekend to visit family. I'm not sure I even want to given the sheer amount of food I ate today and yesterday. My grandmother is as bat crap crazy as my mom is but my aunt was awesome. I miss them like crazy already.
Tonight I'm going to Bear's house and I'm going to climb in his bed and just hide there. Good night all I love you.
Miss Sinister
