So hello
everyone! Long time no post! I missed you all dreadfully! How are you
how is life? Well I suppose since you can't respond via this post I
will have to get to talking about me... I am terribly sorry for
potentially boring you to death.
I got down to
129.2, then I promptly fucked it up royally and binged back up to
135.6. Which is where I am now. My new *insert random title here that
is not boyfriend/fuck buddy, sorry y'all but I don't know what to
call him* is really cool about it all and he gently encourages me to
eat without putting pressure on me. It's a huge change from what I
had before. He calls me beautiful and makes me feel delicate and
small. It makes me so happy. I know it's stupid to do this. I keep
jumping from person to person trying to find someone who makes me
happy when I can't stay happy because I am a constant disappointment
to myself. Today I am liquid fasting, I am going to try to do this
until Thursday because I will be at my final day at my old job. I
want to be as small as possible for the celebration party that night.
And straight fasting means I wont be able to drink coffee and I will
straight up die without coffee. No lie here kids, dead as a door nail
in the ground never getting back up. So it is coffee and prunes for
me until I hit 130 again hopefully by Thursday. Five pounds three
days... IT IS TOTALLY DOABLE. I AM NOT CRAZY.
I really like
him though. And I want to be perfect for him. Which leads me to my
new tattoo! I now have a tattoo that reminds me everyday of my goal.
It says perfect over a diamond. I can be perfect. I totally can. Now
though I have to go I am about to be late to work!
Much love to my
lovelies!
Miss Sinister
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