Barely got my lunch down.

Wether that's good or bad who knows but I've been so nauseous it sucks.

I'm going to make sure to take my raspberry pill tonight so my metabolism doesn't slow down.

Dress shopping for the wedding has this far been terrible but apparently I'm around a size 10 at the moment so four more sizes isn't a ton to lose. I can't find a dress I like let alone love enough to get married in. My mom is taking me dress shopping on Saturday so hopefully it all works out okay.

On a side note I'm really scared that Matthew doesn't love me anymore. There is nothing that makes me want to curl up in bed with cheese cake more than that fact. He always is going out to bars and getting drunk and he never invites me. I'm scared he is out looking for something, or worse yet someone better.

I love him; I don't want to live without him but this is ridiculous. I was serious when I said I did not want to play games. I don't even know if he really wants to get married or not.

I'm going to keep losing weight until I'm perfect then he will have to love me.

I'm so freaking emotional right now I want to cry.

Please send me an angel, I could use some help right now.

~
Miss Sinister