Lately I've been insecure and really unhappy with myself. I can't find clothes that look good on me. I am hungry but when I eat I feel like a fat ass. When I don't eat I feel like I'm anorexic and that scares me. The worst thing of all is that I've started a daily ritual of jumping on a scale and checking to see how much I weigh.
I haven't done this in years.
I feel ugly and fat and gross and poor Bird can barely stand being around me because I keep as he says: putting myself down. I can't seem to lose weight in a healthy manner and I don't want to starve myself. Any tips on how to go from 170 to 140 without killing myself in between?
I came to Texas at 187 pounds. I'm at 170 now. That's okay progress but I still feel and look fat. I don't know what to do. Part of me is scared to keep going and another part of me is scared to quit.
The worst part is that I have friends who are large and beautiful. They have full figures and are well proportioned; all in all I love the way they look and when I try to see myself the way I see them I can't I just see someone ugly. I wish I had a better way to do this because I am holding them and me up to a double standard. You are amazing I am just well... Not.
I can't help but feel like this weight thing is going to dominate my life. I want to lose weight but I want to be healthy about it. I've tried dieting and I always end up starving myself and then binge eating later. This sucks, I miss California and all I want right now is to go home. I don't know why but If I was back in California I don't think this would be a problem. I know I'm not making sense. You don't have to remind me.
Please keep me in your thoughts and if you've got any I would love some advice.
-Miss Sinister
So darling, you know me. And you know I'm a plus sized lady. And the thing is that on some level you have to do a little self-ass kicking. You are beautiful and you have to keep saying and then, from there, believing it. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and then say to yourself this: "Damn, I look good. And nothing anyone says changes this fact. I am gorgeous and that's how it is. I love the way I look. I love myself." And you keep repeating it till you believe it.
ReplyDeleteIt's all well and good to not eat when you're not hungry and it's fabulous to go out running because you want to and it's fun but if you're not eating because you think it makes you look fat, you may have some other things going on.
Darling, I know you. You are a beautiful human being. Believe that and love your own skin. Cut yourself the slack you cut other people. If nothing else, tell yourself this. I love you. I know you are beautiful. I believe it. So you know at least one person thinks you're gorgeous. And I can name a few other folks who probably think the same.
I love you and remember, if you ever need anything, I'm a phone call away! I love love love you!